Unlike almost any other illness, my best friend’s condition is one that affords the patient opportunities to understand themself in ways that are more in depth than the way most other people understand themselves. Granted that those who choose not to help themselves live in the dark world of delusions of grandeur or self-affliction, however the fortunate ones among them who seek therapy, in addition to seeing a psychiatrist regularly, are very often the beneficiaries of loving care that includes an opportunity to regular introspection.
Invariably, the individuals with a high level of success in achieving emotional and mental health are the very same souls that are surrounded by loving friends and family who propel them toward the positive results that, after great effort, they enjoy. Less than twenty years ago the bi-polar disorder, otherwise known as manic-depressive disorder, was an illness that few in the general public understood well. Today, there are many in our own communities who have this emotionally painful diagnosis and increasingly so, the people in their inner circle have a plethora of useful research to glean from in order to help them understand the illness and the one afflicted with it.
Either the patient is too depressed and disinterested to participate in life’s every day activities or he/she is on a mental rollercoaster trip known as mania or being high. When bi-polar patients are high; a euphoric emotion, and experiencing uncontrollable rapid thoughts, it is practically impossible to explain to them that they are not well. The pleasure that they experience during this state of elation is intoxicating and they will do anything to remain on that pleasurable “high.” By the time the afflicted individual “crashes,” which is when he/she falls from the artificial high to a devastating depressing low, they often face highly embarrassing repercussions such as irresponsible spending sprees, destroyed relationships and verbal exchanges that are deeply humiliating. This cycle of high and low can, Heaven forbid repeat itself throughout the entire life of a troubled soul who has not been properly diagnosed or treated. When depression, which is the flip side of the condition sets in the individual can regress to the point of being suicidal. Intervention by the patient’s loved ones is usually crucial in any successful attempt at healing the person in severe agony.
Many successful, famous people, including Winston Churchill and Abraham Lincoln were afflicted with manic-depressive disorder. They achieved great things for mankind by battling this emotionally debilitating illness. There is, however, an important caveat in order to realize long-term wellness. The patient must experience what true “normalcy” feels like. It is not uncommon for a bi-polar patient to spend a decade or more bouncing back and forth from depression to mania. He or she must attain a taste for the flavor of sane life. Not a crazed or inflated perception of reality, neither a bleak, sad or hopeless outlook on everyday life.
Once a bi-polar individual can refer back to a prior time, either before or after he/she was diagnosed, when they were not plagued by irrational thoughts and they maintained a relatively healthy relationship with their family, friends and employers, then they have a solid and pleasant reference point to aspire to. In the lingo of psychiatry that point is called equilibrium. It is a state of mind that healthy people obviously take for granted just as all people rarely stop midday to thank Hashem for their eyesight. Equilibrium means being the person one was meant to be. To be emotionally and mentally equipped to speak, listen and most of all think with the clarity of mind that Hashem originally granted them. In our community there are many in responsible positions who are at the top of their profession by taking the medication that their complex brains need and by speaking to a competent professional regularly.
The irony of th The irony of this illness is that it is one of the few mental afflictions that can be treated so effectively yet at the very same time its patients, oft times violently, reject any help. For my friend, like for so many others who are bipolar, the choice to seek help only came after recurring episodes of shame that made acquiescing to treatment very appealing. One story that comes to mind is when his rosh yeshivah was delivering a lecture to the more than one hundred students of his yeshivah. Suddenly, my friend, who was in the midst of a manic episode, interrupted the speech with inappropriate remarks and questions, an outburst that only a few days later, once the mania had passed, caused him to cower in shame. He would actually lie in bed in a fetal position just from the deep regret that he felt at having embarrassed himself in public in front of so many of his peers.
Those of us who do know someone who is bipolar have an opportunity to remind them that many months of trial and error with medication and hundreds of hours of therapy are all worth the effort and are a small price to pay since once they are at the point of equanimity they will eventually literally forget that they have this condition short of the minute a day it takes them to be compliant with their medication regimen. As for therapy, my friend speaks to one of the many available Torah oriented therapists and by now his sessions have become ones that he eagerly looks forward to. His therapist went from helping my friend piece his shattered life back together to now serving in many respects as a life coach. Thanks to a loving network of support and Divine Providence, my friend is happily married and gainfully employed. He now perceives himself as a giver, who not only provides the less fortunate with mere gifts of materialism, but more importantly he generously shares his contagious smile and witty sense of humor that lightens up the day of many a recipient.
Today, after great struggle and sacrifice my friend defines his ultimate success as being viewed by all as a “normal” individual. By all accounts, there are, boruch Hashem, absolutely no telltale signs of his illness. In fact that is the case with a great number of those who are treated effectively. He will always share with me that he is humbled by the fact that his everyday interactions with humanity are not hindered by his illness in any way. There is nothing glorious about being smitten with this challenging mental disorder, but those who bravely overcome it have cleared a steep summit. My friend is one of the blessed who has braved the turbulent storms of an unquiet mind. His newfound serenity is what he celebrates most by getting high on life.
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